MISSION STATEMENT - This site is dedicated to professional music photographers. Our mission is to advocate sound business practices, warn against predatory client practices, provide helpful and educational resources, and foster a sense of community. All discussions related to capturing, processing, cataloging and licensing music photographs are welcome.

You are here

Home » Forums » Technical » General Discussion

Moved from the old forum...Irritated

published by Angelik99 on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 2:36pm

Ok so as you know I finally got a decent camera so I've been trying to turn it into a from home business and get more/new band photos so eventually I can work my way up into the more mainstream artists.

So I've been putting in time, effort, and a few costs (business cards). Been spending a lot of time on the computer and with old friends networking to get jobs setup.

Me and my husband got into an argument last night and he threw all that up in my face saying I've been spending too much time doing that so that justifies him blowing bill/food money and disappearing for hours. AGH!!

Am I just with a big baby or has anyone else had problems with their spouses g/fs b/fs about your photography?? And if so how did you handle it??

I even explained it just takes some extra time to setup in the beginning then it's just maintaining it after that. For example getting the news to friends, putting out ads, website, etc. But he doesn't seem to care.

Forums: 
General Discussion

Submitted by FWPhoto on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 2:56pm.

I know how you feel trying to get the hubby to understand the funds being thrown out the door but not coming back. They really don't understand. I've been fighting it in earnest for about three years now. He has finally laxed up a bit and understands my desire even though it's not a real money maker. He was in and around the scene with me before I got serious so it's not jealousy thing. He knows most of the local bands in the area and trusts me so that's good. For him, it really is about the money....or lack there of coming back into the house. I am going to put a studio together so I should be able to recover some of the cost of my "wasted" networking time and effort once I'm doing work steady for non-musicians and musicians. Hang in there...he will lax up.....hopefully. Maybe you can look for an alternative way to make the money with your work rather than trying to do live music. It would be a good way to supplement. :)

Faye Weekly Photography
Advanced Amateur
Waldorf, Maryland

Submitted by Angelik99 on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 3:22pm.

Yeah I've set it up where I'm doing everything from pets to families, etc. I have a couple shoots already setup. And I had taken him with me to shows in the past, introduced him, etc.

Typically he's not a jealous guy and typically doesn't care how I spend money. Til the other day he brought it up during an argument. So maybe he was just mad. blah!

But every time I do have somewhere to go he gives me a look...I'm sure you know it. This friday I found a babysitter though, so he can come with me and we can have some fun too. It's a few local bands I'm going to do at a local bar. They have pool tables so I'll play some pool with the hubby and hopefully he'll feel better about it all.

Thanks for your reply!!

Submitted by walter rowe on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 3:30pm.

You definitely have to balance the family responsibilities / time with photography. It is easy to consume 100% of your time with photography. It is so accessible all the time, and some club somewhere local always has a show on any given night of the week. Including your husband as much as you can, and making sure he always knows that he is just as important will go a long way towards keeping peace at home. When I first started out, it was all too easy to spend every free moment trying to learn as much as possible as fast as possible. It can have a devastating impact on your relationship. It is good to maintain momentum when you are on a roll, but don't forget those around you who support you and enable you to do what you love. They need attention and appreciation too.

Walter Rowe - Rowe Images
Professional Photographer
Columbia, Maryland - USA

Founder, MusicPhotographers.net
www.WalterRowePhotography.com
Columbia, Maryland - USA

Submitted by Nick Brownrigg on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 4:14pm.

I'm going though a similar situation right now too. I have my wife "urging" me to edit wedding photos from her sister's wedding and a few family portraits I've done for them. This was all for free of course. I still have 4 bands waiting for photos. Before I can even start editing I have to archive about 80 gigs of photos so I have enough room on my hard drive. I'm getting a hard drive low on space message and can't even edit right now! What makes me even more bitter is that I'm editing on a lap top not well suited for photo editing and my desktop is about 7 years old and really needs to be updated.... what does she think we need? a washer and dryer to replace our current models in perfect working condition... well the washer leaks a little when I pack it to the top. ;)

I've invested a lot of money and time in this hobby and my wife has been supportive so I I can't complain too much but it is nice to vent. :)

Canon 20D, 350D, 35mm 1.4, 85mm 1.8, 430 EX and 580EX flash.

Submitted by ADigitalKiller on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 5:12pm.

I've noticed with my own fiance that it doesn't tend to be about jealousy. He just likes knowing where the money's going. He gets pissy when he can't find me for hours and I'm holed up in the bedroom editing, or if he thinks we're spending the day together but I have a shoot (oops) but for the most part, it's just money. He's been with me from day 1 and even wants to get us involved in doing things together with my photos and him doing interviews. He loves the scene... but if the money's gone, there's an argument LOL.

I've found that just being up front with him has helped. "Honey, I'm buying this new lens. It's going to be this amount of money, and it's important because of this". Usually there's no problem after that!

Submitted by Angelik99 on Thu, 02/14/2008 - 6:04pm.

I just had to uninstall a ton of programs from my comp too. Kept freezing during editing. I also put all my backgrounds on CD, just to save some space. My comp is about 3 years old now. Not much space, but luckally I have a stack of CDs...but I also want a new comp asap. But my husband is still paying for my camera, LOL!!

He seemed a little better today when I explained that I actually have to do most of my networking with women, since mainly the women control when photos are done of their children (side project to make money faster). And that the band scene is going to lead to bigger and better things. That eventually we'll be able to go to the bigger concerts again like we used to before the kids.

I also took the advice of spending more time with him, I spent some time with him outside earlier after one of his jobs cancelled today and now he's not giving me crap about being on here now.

I realized I do really throw myself into my work when I work. And at home it's easy to do. Especially when he's here to watch the kids. So I'll try to manage that a bit better.

Submitted by stacey_the_musi... on Fri, 02/15/2008 - 9:16am.

My situation is different than yours, because I am not trying to start a business at this point because I am going to school and working.

I spent the mid to late 80's going to shows, but there is a 16 year gap where I didn't go to any shows. I started taking concert photos in May of 2006 and in that time, I have photographed around 150 bands. My current schedule is one or two concerts a month, which means I have cut waaaaay back since I started.

When I was shooting 6-10 shows a month, it caused some tension with my husband. I spent hours every day editing photos and updating my website. At first, I was angry that he gave me a hard time about it, but after several months, I realized that he had a point.

Now, I whittle down the shows that I want to shoot. Another thing I have changed, is that I look through my photos from a show and pick out the best 5-20 photos and only edit those. That alone, saves me about 8 hours.

This compromise works well for us. I still shoot a couple of shows a month and he doesn't complain. I have a feeling that there is a compromise in there for you and your husband as well.

Stacey

Submitted by Angelik99 on Fri, 02/15/2008 - 11:11am.

Well he calmed down, he's more about money than anything. Last night I wrapped up messages in my inbox and counted up everything for the week, at 1am I counted 4 shoots. So this morning before he left for work I let him know I've got 4 shoots this week.

A few bands tonight and he's going with, a birthday party this weekend, 2 bands during the week, and next saturday a family shoot. So he got excited that there would be money coming back in. So it's actually 5 for the week.

To even out costs I'll photograph anything someone will pay me for, lol!!

So I've come to the conclusion that he doesn't mind me being gone or staying on the computer for hours on end as long as there is a profit. He doesn't need to know if I just barely break even, haha!! I deal with all the finances/bill paying. He just needs to know that it's bringing something in. It might have helped that I got off the computer from about 5 til 10pm too, hahaha!!

I think I just need to set myself a schedule and go over it with him so he knows even if he gets home early, it's still my time to work til a certain time.

Submitted by walter rowe on Fri, 02/15/2008 - 12:46pm.

Angelik99 wrote:
I think I just need to set myself a schedule and go over it with him so he knows even if he gets home early, it's still my time to work til a certain time.

Good idea. Be flexible too. A surprise afternoon once in a while hanging out together sans kids can re-enforce for him where your priorities are in the big scheme of things. I speak from 14 years of marriage. Jobs will come and go. Your spouse is the one who is there all the time and will hopefully be there when you retire.

Good to hear he's coming around now that he sees some return on the investment.

Walter Rowe - Rowe Images
Professional Photographer
Columbia, Maryland - USA

Founder, MusicPhotographers.net
www.WalterRowePhotography.com
Columbia, Maryland - USA

Submitted by DwightMcCann on Thu, 02/21/2008 - 4:46pm.

to being old and established and having a 'Day Job'! Tell your hubby that I started out shooting Pro Bono five or six years ago and last year I grossed $45,000 USD doing part time photography.

Dwight McCann